Armoured Up

Archive for the tag “Faith”

The “In” Crowd

I’ve never belonged to the “in” crowd …have never desired to be a part of the “in” crowd. I’ve been on the verge of being “in”…have tasted “in” and “in” just didn’t feel right to me; didn’t feel authentic to me. I was the insider on the outside looking in. Nope, I’ve never liked being in…I’m thinking because while I was “in” someone was left out.

I recall far back when I was a young girl, noticing those on the playground who were alone and reaching out to them or sitting with them if I saw them alone. I was the one sneaking the neighborhood “dirty” kids up the fire escape to give them baths; or inviting the girl in the corner house on Pierce Street to come out and play jump rope. I still remember her less than perfect smile and the twinkle in her eye as she was let in. I was the one at the job who found the housekeeper in the kitchen and I would sit with her and listen to her stories. She was the only co-worker who visited with me at my home and said she felt important because I let her in. I asked her why she felt that way and she said “why would someone in your position be interested in me?” So sad!! I was asked by the big boss why I chose to spend time with “her” when I was so cool…Ughhh. He was sooooo why I chose to stay on the outside!!!

Having a husband in the industry has always been a source of OY for me since I’m not a green room girl; am not a VIP room girl. Don’t like to be set apart in that way, but I do like being set apart in another way…

My desire really is to be in the “in Him” crowd. The crowd that grows in Him; talks about Him; lives in Him; remains in Him. The crowd that excludes no one because we are all in Him. My long lasting relationships are built in Him and remain because they are centered in Him. My marriage is strong because we are together in Him.

I think it would please Him if the only “in” we’d find ourselves in is Him. And wouldn’t we all be soooo cool!!


I Know You

I know…

I know what it’s like to dream; to prepare; to envision; to want; to feel

I know… 

I know what it’s like to be told you can’t have something you’ve dreamed of; prepared for; envisioned…something you’ve wanted all of your life…something so seemingly simple for others to attain…so natural to everyone else, but me.  Why me!!!???

I know…

I know the feeling of despair, disconnection, despondency; that of sadness and shame; of loneliness of dis-repair…I’ve been there

I know…

I know what it’s like to deny, distract, run away, stay away, put away, hide away…go away

I know…

I know physical pain, emotional pain, spiritual longing, mental fogging…or is it mental flogging?…I know…

I know silence, I know the wilderness…been there, lived there, settled for a time there…

Like an old friend…always there, like my favorite chair…waiting there…

I know… 

I also know the sound of hope found in sunshine, in the words of a mentor, a letter from a stranger…the eyes of a friend…

the laughter of children..the peace found within

I know…

I know rewards come through patience; that joy comes in time; that yes follows maybe; that

no is never final…when you know the originator of time

I know…that dreams can come true…

I know…because

I Know You

One of the sweetest moments of my life!!
When I said yes…He touched my soul; renewed my love for Him and made my body whole…
When I said yes…I was brand new..and in His perfect time…He gave me you! ~~ Thank You God for saying YES!!!

Zipline to Freedom

I was recently invited to go away for a weekend of spiritual refreshing with some awesome women.  Of course, I had things that were pressing and up until the day of departure, I was see sawing with whether I had the time, or even if I had the time, whether I had the desire to go “there” emotionally.  In the end, I decided I would tag along and spectate, get some much needed rest and eat three good meals a day!!  Prior to my departure, I encountered a young woman who really needed refreshing and I figured I had to go now that I invited her….after all, surely God wouldn’t move on her behalf unless I was there, right????? 🙂

On day two, we had some quiet time before lunch and it was then that I had my first encounter with the Lord.  I grabbed my journal and this is what He spoke to me:

“Daughter, you must give from your abundance and not from your reserve. Put yourself at the head of the line.  Stop being everything to and for everybody and just be…be truthful to yourself, be forgiving, be free.  Let somebody love you – let that somebody be Me.  Admit your weaknesses, admit when you’re weak for it is in that space that I will strengthen you.  It is then, when you’re the most pliable that change – My change can begin.  Daughter, do you trust Me?”

During our free period that day, there were several activities to choose from and I chose to zipline, where I had my second and most profound encounter with God.

I stood with the other girls waiting for my turn to climb to the sky and hurl myself down attached to what looked like a clothesline.  As I approached the pole with all eyes on me I was cool, chest out, head up, never letting on that my insides were churning…had my “faith face” on!!

As I began the climb, a clear metaphor was unfolding as God began speaking to me on this tailor made adventure.  Each peg I stepped on in this journey was unsteady and as I looked up, the road appeared long and narrow – my goal so far away, but attainable.  As I reached the half way point, the wind picked up causing me to pause in order to let those conditions pass.  Just like life’s circumstances which interrupt our climb, I had to wait it out praying that it would pass quickly since I was close to the top and too far along to fail now.  I made it to the top and with one long shaky step I hoisted myself up onto the platform where I was met by someone MY size whose job it was to keep us BOTH from plummeting off of the tiny platform built for two.

She told me how great I climbed and I couldn’t even squeak out a thank you.  As I hung on to the pole, she told me to trust her.  She said “I’m attached to the line above me and you are attached to me….you’re fine.”  She then clipped my harness to the zipline and explained that I needed to sit down even though my bottom would not touch the platform, and then I was to toss my legs over the side of the platform. Right!  I said, “Are you sure?  Yes, you’ll be fine, trust me,” and so I did.  I sat back and felt for the platform that was there but unreachable. “Should I hold on?”  “You can hold on or let go…either way, you’ll be fine.  Let me know when you’re ready.”  “Should I hold on?”  “Whatever you like,” she said.  I paused, took a breath and said “okay, I’m ready,” and with that I heard a click and a release and with the instincts of a trusting child, I let go and had the most amazing ride….I was free.

That climb represented my journey…our  journey…a long, narrow, sometimes scary path; unsteady steps with a destination in mind; a pause when life’s circumstances threaten to knock us off of our destiny, moving forward with determination to reach our goal and reaching our destination only to determine that there’s more ahead and that we’ll have to trust that God has us even when it seems unsteady; when He seems unreachable.  He has us whether we choose to hold on or not and if we trust Him and let go, the result is freedom!

I encourage you to trust Him today, let go and experience freedom!!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

Don’t miss Spiritual Refreshing, 2013
January  24-26 – The Oaks, Lake Hughes, CA
Contact me for details…

Things and Stuff

Earlier this year, I had an “Aha” moment during a small group bible study.  We were discussing storing up treasures on earth (Matthew 6:19-21) when one of the ladies told of a young man who had amassed a great fortune and had acquired a great many things. She said that he had recently lost a cousin to suicide and was questioning the importance of “things” in light of the loss of life which was so much more valuable.

As she and the other ladies spoke, I was struck by the number of times they referred to things as “stuff,” — things which were once priceless and much sought after. (“He wants to get rid of his ‘stuff’.” “This ‘stuff’ isn’t important.” “My husband is getting on me to have a yard sale. We gotta sell some ‘stuff’ in order to make room.”) You know, at one point that “stuff” was important enough to have names.  Stuff that we buy, stuff that is given to us, stuff that we want…stuff once so important, so seemingly necessary to ensure happiness, now not so much!  True enough, most of my stuff which has been demoted and relocated to the garage was once in the category of “I have to have it — I need to have it.”   Matthew 6:33 encourages us to seek Him first and His way and all the things we NEED will be added. Note: need versus want!!

So, here’s what I’ve concluded…What we need is promised; what we want is just “stuff!!”

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33 NLT

“And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 NKJV

Woman Warrior

I am a Woman Warrior
I’m proud of who I am
I stand against wars big and small
my weapon in my hand

A helmet of salvation
secured upon my head
Reminds me who my Father is
and all He’s ever said
And on my chest, a breastplate
of righteousness secured
To guard my heart, to keep me from
the lies I’ve never heard

I am a Woman Warrior
Around my waist is truth
I live it…speak it…know it…do it
In every way always pursue it
My shoes are ones of peace
They keep me rooted and prepared
to come against my enemy
firm footed, never scared

I am a Woman Warrior
My shield of faith is raised
No weapon formed will ever win
I will remain unscathed

I am a Woman Warrior
The Word is in my mouth
With skill, precision, confidence…
I wear the devil out!
Ephesians 6:13-18

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