I like lists…I like five point messages…when I pray, I string along at least three scriptures…more if I’m in the zone. Just thought I’d point out my grouping tendencies, just in case you haven’t noticed. You’ll never figure out the subject matter of this post by its title. It very much described today…a special day for my daughter and me. She and my son were gone for a couple of days to camp with our church’s youth and she returned tired and talkative and best of all, so happy to see me. Yesterday we had some prayer time, she shared her pictures and we hung out in the pool and spent most of the day together. Later in the day, she pulled out her journal to read what the Holy Spirit dropped in her heart during worship over the weekend. I was tearing up as she shared her heart with me. This morning she woke up looking for me again. After we completed our chores, she watched as I squeezed lemons for lemonade and then followed me back to the living room asking me when we were going to start reading the books we recently ordered from Amazon. She’s open and wanting to engage. I watched her when she wasn’t looking. I thought how blessed my daughter was to have someone to pour into her, life’s lessons; how blessed she was to know Jesus this intimately at such a young age; and then I thought of the huge responsibility on my shoulders. I relaxed as I remembered that it not only was a shared responsibility with my husband, SomeOne much bigger, wiser, more loving and faithful than either of us was in control.
For the longest time I’ve known that today would come; I’ve sorta been preparing, but was not prepared, really. I had cruised around this topic before, ducking her pointed questions on more than one occasion, recognizing that timing was everything and her immaturity would time after time prolong the inevitable. Today was the day…the time had come…it had to be done and I had to be the one and she was ready so ready or not…I took a deep breath….and then started thinking about me at that age and how no one ever broke anything down to me. Good grief, this was a joke. What I learned, I learned from giggly, misinformed cousins and conversations overheard and possibly a book or two from a classmate. I came out of that reverie, ready to take the plunge and I began by talking to her about hormones, body image, touch. I thought I’d break into a sweat when it came time to go in for the kill; break it down; seal the deal, especially when I noticed her looking out the window in a trance. I tried to ask leading questions to see what she knew, but she wasn’t biting. She did admit to having heard some things on tv which made her wonder. As she was talking, I spotted my computer charger and an extension cord and was able to diffuse any discomfort by using my props to conjure up the image of women as receivers and men as givers. I was swimming now, not flopping around and I had her complete attention. I shocked myself with the words I was using…nothing X rated, but certainly “R” :). I told her stories of my upbringing and then the lesson was over for now. I kissed her and promised that she could trust me; that I would tell her the truth, the whole truth at all times. She kissed me and thanked me and promised to trust me. I walked away thinking about everything I said and all that I didn’t say and the rest that I need to say. Ours will be an ongoing discussion…I’m believing that will be the case.
As uncomfortable the notion of going there was, I felt that it was time and I was much more self assured than I thought I’d be. She was ready, more mature and I surely didn’t want her learning on the fly as I did. I didn’t follow any prescribed method or five point message; I didn’t get any advice from Dr. Leman or anyone else. I was led by the Holy Spirit who nudged me today…the timing was right…her heart was yielded…we got through it…it’s done. For today anyway!
Whew!! What a day!!