Armoured Up

Being a Mom is Tough

shoppingBeing a Mom is Tough!!!  Ha!!  Ain’t that the truth!!!  I am doing an online bible study and each week a topic is featured and an invitation extended for bloggers to blog and so here I am throwing my hat in, not so much to enlighten anyone — since we all know how tough, trying, treacherous, taxing, traumatizing parenting can be, (I’m pretty dramatic, I know) —  but I need some enlightening up in here!

I am mama to my only begotten son, Joshua, 15 (almost 16) and my girl Mariah, 14.  I have always anticipated each stage of development, bought the book and waited as they caught up to me.  I helicoptered  my way through the early years and had a few “special” moments along the way, but all in all nothing too traumatizing, I hope.

And so here we are smack dab in the middle of teenage years and OY!!!  I thought I was pretty well prepared and prayed up since my only begotten son has been a joy to parent…well, you know, he’s just like me (insert smirk and a back pat here) — but the problem I’m having is that my girl, bless her precious heart, is a little more of a challenge because…well, you know, she’s just like me (pre-Jesus) — help me Jesus!!  She’s a little more argumentative (she calls it debating); a little more headstrong (she says she’s an independent thinker) and a bit stubborn (um…me)!!  She took that turn in 6th grade and we’ve been riding this wave ever since — having some good days and some not so good days.

I recently shared with my goddaughter’s mom that in the process of parenting her daughter, she will be healed of some of her struggles.  This week the Lord, brought that conversation back to my remembrance and I embraced it.  I recognize that to be the case in my relationship with my daughter because the hotter it becomes, the more “my stuff” comes up and I am trying with every bit of my strength not to project.  Did I say OY!!!  After our last misunderstanding blow-up I heard myself say “I cannot wait for this ‘season’ to pass…I’d like to fast forward right through it.”  I immediately took it back because I realize that if I were to get my “wish” I would fast forward through some amazing times of growth and training with my girl and my only begotten son:)

So here’s what I will do instead….not in my strength, but in His:

I will not project “my stuff” on her as she “heals” me;

I will control less and trust Him more;

I will be quick to listen, slow to speak (a miracle in itself);

I will be open and expect to be stretched (some more)…(did she not absolutely stretch me to my limit during pregnancy?)

I will not take anything she says personally (Jesus take the wheel for real!!)

I will acknowledge that bad moments do not make a bad mom or a bad relationship!

I will remind myself that God chose me to parent my girl!

I am so looking forward to this bible study and all that I will glean from the other warrior mamas.  May we all be strengthened, empowered and encouraged knowing that we were called for such a time as this to influence a generation and may our legacy be a lasting one…one that bears fruit that remains.

“He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness (uprightness and right standing with Him – not for my earning it, but) for His name’s sake.” Psalm 23:3

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3 thoughts on “Being a Mom is Tough

  1. I’ve missed reading your blogs, Arlene. I went searching for your words a few weeks ago. I guess you’ve been busy parenting. 🙂 Hey, I’m a few weeks away from empty nest. I’d have all three children back under my roof in a heart beat if I could go back. I just returned from visiting my married daughter who lives in another state. Although she was never rebellious, there were the teenage mood swings and drama. But be encouraged, there’s a lovely rose among the thorns who will smell sweet when she’s in full bloom. And like you said, raising children teaches us more about ourselves and our relationship with the Lord than any how-to book. Sounds like you’re being a great parent….in God’s Word and relying on the Lord.

  2. So glad you threw in your hat! Such truth here for all of us to glean from and yes they are like us. They watch us every moment. I look at my 11 month old grandson and how he mimics what I do. And they do act like us. I look at my son and daughter and see all the good and the bad they got from me. I don’t like the bad but I know where it came from, but God’s not finished with any of us. His mercies are new every day and one thing I have noticed even though my kids are in their early 30s is this – they are still watching and mimicing and what they are seeing is good. Love d your blog! Debbie W. (Proverbs 31 Ministries OBS Team)

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